Breaking Free from the Chains of Deception: The Liberating Power of Radical Honesty

We lie to others about our emotions and to ourselves about who we are and what we desire. Learning to lie is an inevitable aspect of growing up. However, this does not imply that it is healthful. The truth is that all of this deception is killing us on the inside. So, how can you quit lying when it's all around you?

The answer is easy, but yet quite difficult: simply tell the truth. Radically.

We are all liars. We lie all the time, in fact. And not just the minor details. On a deeper level, most adults are living a lie that they told themselves as children.

Adolescence is the time when you begin to wonder, "Who am I?" And, regrettably, it's human nature to demand a single, conclusive answer. As a result, you pretend that the response you give yourself - the character you adopt - is a true reflection of who you are.

There is no cure, but by expressing the truth, the sickness can be managed. This does not simply imply admitting to small errors. It implies telling the truth completely. Brad Blanton describes it as "radical honesty."

Radical honesty is divided into three degrees.

The first is just a matter of laying forth the facts. People are frequently held back by secrets they withhold from loved ones. It is beneficial to your emotional and physical health to release tension by acknowledging your lies.

The second level is concerned with emotional truth. People rarely disclose their true feelings because they are concerned about how it may appear to others. But admitting you had an affair, for example, isn't enough; you also need to be honest about how it felt. Otherwise, you're still deceiving them.

The third level of truth-telling is also the point at which you begin to live the truth. It's the point at which you can fully accept that your genuine identity - your being - isn't the same as the one you've been projecting to the rest of the world.

Radical honesty is a simple concept: stop lying and start telling the truth. However, putting it into practice is difficult. Consider the following challenging scenario: you've slept with your spouse's best friend and now it's time to come clean. You could believe that being truthful merely entails informing your spouse that basic reality. You'd probably quarrel over it and end up resenting one other for the rest of your lives.

But radical honesty is something else entirely. It requires being authentic - excruciatingly authentic - right down to the last detail.

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The speed of life is vigorous these days, and we are constantly stimulated. Given this, it's no surprise that many of us are stressed; our bodies aren't built to be this active all of the time. And our moralism only complicates the situation.

So, how can you break out of this anxious state, free your mind, and return to a position in which you can recognize your own self? Dealing with the issue entails learning to communicate the truth. A psychotherapist can assist with this, but it does not always work. Finally, it comes down to taking responsibility for yourself and putting your goals into action.

There's an honest truth here. When you haven't done everything you can for yourself, it's all too easy to blame the world around you. However, the mechanic's demeanor reveals something about internal problems.

Most of us have an internal conflict between our desires and our beliefs. We despise something - the way people treat us, our job, anything - but we also make apologies and justifications for why things are the way they are. Within us, there are two opposing voices arguing.

This is the mind toying with us again. It desires future promise and change, but it also desires the security of precedent. What is the solution to this paradox? The reality. We can only reconcile this paradox by being brave to face it and accept it within ourselves.

It's the same thing as before: cease forming moral judgments about what's right or wrong.

Simply express how you feel. Inform the truth.

You'll be surprised how far it will get you.

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Monica JR & Archipelago Insight, 2023